Oh Gabe.....so defiant at times. I really think some days he wakes up and decides to do the opposite of everything I tell him. He is a great/easy going kid, but he does like to test the waters and push his limits with me at times. This morning was a battle getting out the door. I am not a morning person and unfortunately neither is he. I promise I feel like I am trying to get a teenager out of bed. I tickle his feet, shake him, sing annoying songs that you do not want to hear first thing in the morning, and he just pulls the covers over his face and whines. Once he is finally out of bed I then have to convince him to brush his teeth. He actually does a great job on his own (when he wants to) but in the mornings when he is grumpy....not so much. We spend 5 minutes trying to decide which toothbrush to use ( mistake #1 he has more than one...) He usually goes for which ever one I do not grab (to go along with the opposite theme). He also whines if I don't hold him the entire time instead of standing on his stool so I can finish putting on make up or curling my hair. Sigh- I struggle with being stern or just giving in so we both will be in a better mood- Choose your battles right? So we are brushing and life is good, now potty time and get dressed- eek. He doesn't want to wear the shirt I have picked out he wants to wear the shirt he wore yesterday....ughhhh, I am running late at this point and snap and say, "Gabe, buddy you have got to chill out and not whine about these things, just get dressed!" He starts crying...which makes me more frustrated and then it takes even longer and I really want to pull my hair out at this point. Where is an attractive pool side boy handing me a mimosa at this point??? Or I could just use an extra set of hands. We are out the door! Finally! It's 8:20...oops. Rush, Rush Rush. We always have a heart to heart in the car and I explain why I was upset with him and that I love him very much. He then says, "I'm sorry for not obeying mommy" And my heart melts and I just wish I could spend all day with him......:(
This picture is from yesterday. We got his hair cut and I asked him to smile so I could take a picture of it: This is what I got in return.....
I then say, "ok Gabe, I'm going to take another picture, but please don't smile in this one"
And I get-
I know a lot of this is just a child being a child- but I do wonder how this will play out in his adolescence. This need to choose opposite of whatever I give him is quite interesting to me. It really is with everything! I give him a blue car he wants the red one, I give him a mickey mouse plate for his waffle, he wants buzz light year, I put the syrup on the right side of the plate, he wanted it on the left, I give him a fork, he wants a spoon......ahhhhhh and on and on and on. Perhaps he is just testing his independence and control over situations. And again...how much of that do I let him have? Why can't he just be content?????
And then, that makes me look at my own life. Lord, am I content? Why can't I just be content? Instead, I want to tell You the things that I want and when and how I want them. When they don't happen that way, I get frustrated, pouty, resentful- I guess we as adults can still act out just as a child. He is the Father, He is the One who has authority and I shouldn't argue it. I should delight in it. Really, if you think about it, it brings a sense of control and peace to the table. I don't have to worry about it, He is the one ordaining my life. Lord, let me see the peace and beauty in this.
So, as much as Gabe can make me want to pull my hair out or just hand him over to the next person that walks my way (kidding!) I still look into his eyes and know that he will forever have my heart and there is an unconditional love there that could never be broken. For those that have a child, you know what I'm referring to. But, the love our Father has for us, is ten times that. The Word says, that God loves us so much that it makes our love for our children look like hatred. Wow. Humbling.
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